Newswise — "Everyone deserves and needs a funeral when they die, but they should have a funeral that fits their lifestyle and personality, not forced to have a religious, clergy-led funeral," nationally-known grief expert Doug Manning, author of more than 25 books on the subject, told a convention of funeral directors in Orlando, June 12.
"It's not widely known, but the fastest-growing segment of the U.S. population is made up of people who do not claim any religious affiliation," Manning told the Florida Independent Funeral Directors convention at the Hilton Walt Disney World Resort here. He went on to explain that the number of people who checked "none" on their census forms doubled in the ten years between the 1990 and 2000 U.S. Census to nearly 30 million.
"These people are now called the 'nones,' and if they were organized into a religious group they would be the third largest denomination in the U.S., behind Catholics and Baptists in numbers," Manning said. He believes these are the people responsible for the trend in many parts of the country toward "immediate disposition," - having no funeral at all.
What's the alternative?"A person should not be forced to have a religious funeral just because that is all that is offered," Manning told the group. "They may not be aware there is an alternative. What these people need is a funeral celebrant©." He described a funeral celebrant as a person who is trained to center upon the significance, value, personality and lifestyle of the deceased, and to provide a time for grieving and saying good-bye.
After spending the last quarter of a century studying and writing about grief, Manning believes a meaningful funeral is the first step on a healthy grieving journey."If people avoid a funeral because they don't want a clergy-led service, in many cases their grief experience will be longer and more difficult," he said. "However, if the funeral responds to the grief of the surviving loved ones and establishes the value and significance of the person's life, the family can find help with their grieving process."
Manning found the idea of funeral celebrants while speaking on grief in Australia and New Zealand six years ago. Church attendance is low in both of these countries, he says, and people began demanding funerals that reflected their lives. One woman began a crusade for this type of funeral and the states responded by licensing what they call "civil celebrants."
"I returned with a resolve to establish the celebrant concept in this country as a viable alternative to the traditional religious funeral," Manning says. Since then, Manning's Oklahoma City firm, In-Sight Books, has established the In-Sight Institute for training individuals as celebrants. So far, more than 450 have been certified as funeral celebrants in the U.S. and Canada.
Manning and Glenda Stansbury, dean of the In-Sight Institute, have conducted celebrant training in 13 locations in the U.S. and six in Canada. This year, celebrant training is being held in Chicago, Toronto, Cleveland, Seattle, San Antonio and Minneapolis.
Celebrant trainees come from a broad range of backgrounds, according to Stansbury. "One of our best celebrants is a convenience store owner in Oregon," she said. "Others include a retired teacher in Kansas, a priest in Massachusetts and a social worker in Canada." About 75 percent of celebrants are funeral directors, who see firsthand the struggles families have when trying to plan a service without a clergyperson. Celebrant funeral services, guided by input from families, vary from candlelight ceremonies and personal affirmations to PowerPoint presentations about the person's life.
The hope of Manning and Stansbury is that when a family without a church or clergy connection sees value in focusing on the celebration and significance of the life lived, they will request the funeral director to put them in touch with a funeral celebrant.
For more information on funeral celebrants and the In-Sight Institute, go to: http://www.insightbooks.com
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