Newswise — Joy, jubilance, satisfaction, relief. If these are the emotions you are feeling today, your candidate probably won in the presidential election. So celebrate, but avoid letting your enthusiasm turn you into a verbal bully, says Menninger psychiatrist Stuart Twemlow, M.D. Too much jubilance, too much emphasis on victory, may cost you a friend. Enjoy your moment, but be tactful. With nearly half the electorate supporting the other candidate, sadness, anger, disappointment and a growing sense of futility may be pervasive in nearly half the population now and for the immediate future. So how do we all get along again, especially following such a caustic political cycle that has left friendships, neighborhoods, families and whole communities strained?
Dr. Twemlow, an internationally recognized expert in community interventions and the roots of violence, says if your goal is regaining a friendship lost in the political heat of this election year, temporarily setting aside politics altogether is a prudent strategy. Choose to discuss subjects that are safe and unlikely to create tension, Dr. Twemlow said. That will smooth the transition back into a friend's life.
If you simply can't avoid more political debate, he said, then take care to first congratulate the victor or soothe the vanquished. Whatever you do, don't gloat. Term limits are not only good for elected officials, Dr. Twemlow said, but also for celebrating what can be interpreted as your friend's loss. Friendships, after all, are designed to last longer than elected officials.
Avoid such statements as, "This is not the America I know," which is counterproductive. Americans do share a core set of values, despite differences, so finding common ground is the best avenue to follow in restoring order to friendships.
Politics employs the art or compromise, which is also useful in relationships, as well, Dr. Twemlow said.
The Menninger Clinic is a national specialty psychiatric hospital for adolescents and adults in Houston and is affiliated with Baylor College of Medicine and The Methodist Hospital at the Texas Medical Center. Menninger is consistently named among the leading psychiatric hospitals in U.S. News & World Report's annual rankings of America's Best Hospitals. Menninger was founded in 1925 in Topeka, Kansas, by Drs. C.F., Karl and Will Menninger and relocated to Houston in 2003.
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