Coping with Military Family Members OverseasAccording to Jesse J. Harris, PhD, dean of the School of Social Work, it is important this time of year to recognize that families with loved ones serving in the military may be experiencing loneliness. "Acknowledge that absence by inviting the spouse and children of military servicemen and servicewomen to take part in your festivities," he says. Spouses can ease their own loneliness by writing a letter a day""an activity that becomes a diary" "but remember to keep the letters filled with good things about home and not the problems. Volunteering and keeping busy are good ways to spend time rather than staying glued to TV news about the military operation. Harris also suggests that parents with sons and daughters in the military send letters and e-mails to their children, but he cautions parents to understand that no news from them could mean that they are busy and do not have time to communicate.
Poison Prevention Tips from the Maryland Poison Center: "¢Carbon Monoxide—a colorless, odorless, and poisonous gas—is a silent killer that is common this time of year. Carbon monoxide detectors are available at most hardware stores to protect households."¢Check poison warning cards on holly and mistletoe. "¢Keep ornamental lights out of the reach of infants and toddlers. Check warning labels. The Maryland Poison Center, a service of the School of Pharmacy, encourages families across the state to be aware of poison hazards. Call the Maryland Poison Center at 1-800-222-1222 if poisoning is suspected.
Forgiveness Can Be the Best Holiday Gift EverHolidays can be emotional for everyone. Adult children arguring with parents, couples struggling with infidelity, and extended families nursing longtime hurts may all benefit from decision-based forgiveness. Frederick A. DiBlasio, PhD, a professor at the School of Social Work and a national expert on forgiveness, says that the best gift people can give themselves and their loved ones is forgiveness. Most people wait for the process of forgiveness to evolve over time, but the process can be hastened by making the decision to forgive transgressions and working through 13 steps with the understanding that forgiving someone doesn't mean allowing someone to hurt you again. DiBlasio says forgiveness involves "letting go" of bitterness toward another person. He also says that emotional readiness is not a factor in the decision-based process because forgiveness can be an act of will.
"It doesn't necessarily mean the end of emotional pain and hurt, but people can become empowered by making the decision to go ahead and forgive someone and then work through the pain and hurt later. They can forgive people who have hurt them in the past while making the decision never to see that person again, or forgive those who hurt them in the past but who are now dead," he says. The act of forgiving, according to DiBlasio, is ultimately a gift to oneself so that one isn't eventually reduced to an angry, bitter person, consumed by past hurts. The 13 steps include the offender asking for forgiveness and providing an explanation of the offense. They also involve asking questions about the offense and developing a plan to rebuild trust.
Newly Separated or Divorced? Spending the holidays with family can be tough enough without the added stress of seeing your ex-spouse's new family, boyfriend, girlfriend, or life partner. There are ways to handle it, says Geoffrey Greif, PhD, professor of social work and associate dean of the School of Social Work. Greif is a nationally known expert on issues pertaining to divorce, including family relationships. He advises newly divorced or separated people to find new self-esteem building rituals that help them break out of old patterns. "For instance, if the kids are with their other parent, leaving you alone, you can volunteer to help the needy, go to church, to the gym, or find an activity that will help you focus on others and not the fact that you are alone for what may be the first time."
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