Sex and Love Actually

Newswise — Sexuality is a fundamental human need and can be one of the most fulfilling pleasures in life. Yet, it is possibly the most difficult and complex aspect of human relationships. Given the confusion and mixed messages about sexuality that exist in our culture, it is hardly surprising that men and women have trouble achieving intimacy. Indeed, they have considerable challenges communicating and working out their differences.

In their new book Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships (American Psychological Association Books), authors and clinical psychologists Robert Firestone, PhD, Lisa Firestone, PhD, and Joyce Catlett, MA make the point that most therapy and research in sexual dysfunction tends to emphasize physiological and technical issues over the psychological ones, which the authors believe are at the root of most couples' problems. Joyce Catlett explains, "Most books on sexuality focus on techniques for achieving physical satisfaction in one's sexual relationships. In contrast, Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships focuses on understanding the psychological and emotional factors that contribute to problems in sexual relating, as well as those that can lead to sexual relationships that are characterized by love, emotional closeness, and passionate sexuality."

The authors have outlined a unique cognitive, behavioral, affective framework for understanding and treating issues that interfere with sexual relating and intimacy including jealousy, sexual withholding, and routine or impersonal sexuality. Drawing on their 40 years of combined clinical experience and a longitudinal study of couples and families, the authors posit that sexual problems stem in large part from defenses acquired through painful childhood experiences. These defenses can be later transferred to the romantic partner and often predispose alienation in the relationship.

Using clear language and a multitude of case examples, the authors show how individuals can overcome these painful barriers and become physically and emotionally closer to their partners. The authors also provide valuable techniques to assist couples in their struggle for greater love and intimacy. Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships is a compelling and thought"provoking read for anyone interested in what maintains a loving and fulfilling sexual relationship.

"Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships" is a useful and insightful book that enhances our understanding of an often misunderstood subject. Combining personal stories and professional wisdom, this book will be of interest to anyone seeking solutions for troubled intimate relationships. -Donald K. Freedheim, PhD, Professor Emeritus, Case Western Reserve University, Cleveland, OH