PARENTS MUST LEARN TO "LET GO" AS KIDS HEAD OFF TO COLLEGE
Later this month, millions of teenagers will be heading off to college for the first time. The adjustment is difficult, and sometimes it's the parents who have the hardest time.
That's according to Dr. Linda Bips, a psychologist and former Director of Counseling at Muhlenberg College in Allentown, PA. Bips, a psychologist and frequent lecturer on parenting.
"Parents need to let go," says Bips. "Letting go can be traumatizing for a parent. But, college is a time for personal growth and a time to experience new things. Students need a little freedom. Allow your child to take full responsibility for his or her life at College."
Bips offers these tips to parents who are seeing their children off to college for the first time:
* start saying good-bye today
* talk about the good old times, anticipate the new ones
* talk about money -- who pays for what and how much
* state your expectations regarding grades -- remember college is not high school
* challenge your child to change his/her behavior -- sex, drugs, religion or alcohol -- for six months while he/she thinks about new values
* be a good listener, but don't be a fixer
* send lots of mail or e-mail and set up a weekly telephone call
And what shouldn't you do? According to Bips:
* DON'T call faculty or staff on your child's behalf. They need to fend for themselves and take responsibility.
* DON'T say these are the best years of your life, even though they are.
"It's a difficult adjustment for the students and the parents. Generally, everyone survives, and those parents that learn to let go are doing their children a big favor in life."
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For more information contact: Dr. Linda Bips, Asst. Prof. of Psychology, Former Director of Counseling 484-664-3178 (or Mike Bruckner 484-664-3230 [email protected]
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