Nov. 20, 1998
Contact: Joseph Allen, (804) 982-4727, [email protected]
When Discipline Isn't Enough:
RELATIONSHIP WITH PARENTS DETERMINES IF TEENS WILL RESPOND TO RULE-SETTING, NEW STUDY SHOWS
Laying down the law won't always keep teenagers out of trouble. The only adolescents who respond well to firm discipline practices are those who feel close to their parents.
That's a central finding of one of the first studies to investigate the link between adolescents' attachment to their parents and how they interact with their peers. The study led by Joseph A. Allen, an associate professor of psychology at the University of Virginia, is described in the newest edition of the journal, Child Development.
In contrast to recent research suggesting that parents are not important in determining their children's behaviors, this study shows a strong connection between teens' relationships with their parents and how they interact with peers.
Teens who do not feel close to their parents do not respond to good discipline practices, such as setting firm rules, the researchers found. Co-authors are researchers Cynthia Moore at U.Va., Gabriel Kuperminc at Yale University and Kathy Bell at Texas Tech University.
"The data shows clearly that teens who do not have strong, positive relationships with their mothers are unresponsive to maternal attempts at discipline," Allen emphasized.
Parenting courses that focus solely on discipline issues miss the point, he added. "For the most disturbed teens improving relationships with parents appears to be a necessary precursor to improving the teen's behavior," he said.
Teens who do not have secure feelings toward their parents are "handicapped," the authors say. They are more likely to misinterpret what their peers say and are more likely to have expectations that relationships won't work. They also are more likely to think poorly of themselves and are more likely to be depressed.
Teens who feel a secure sense of attachment to their parents are more popular, less likely to be depressed and less likely to be delinquent, the researchers found.
"Adolescents with a secure base with their parents have a 'launching pad' that gives them confidence in themselves and their ability to try new relationships," said Allen. "They have a base for believing relationships are worthwhile."
The researchers collected data on 131 ninth- and tenth-graders, their mothers and their peers. The adolescents had experienced difficulty at school, such as failing grades, repeated absences or suspension.
Teens who don't care about their relationships with parents have lost a "safety net" that checks their behavior, the author said. "If you have a 16-year old getting in trouble, work on your relationship with him. Don't try to address the situation only by setting limits," Allen advised.
"The biggest surprise in the study is how powerful the effects of feeling secure are," Allen said.
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