Newswise — The excitement of the holiday season—the sights, the sounds and even the break in routine—can sometimes be overwhelming for children with special needs. Sarah Allen, PhD, an assistant professor of psychology at Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine, says the best way for families to navigate this potentially difficult time is to prepare, practice, plan and most of all, be realistic.
Prepare: Dr. Allen advises parents to choose 2-3 behaviors to focus on in the weeks prior to the holiday, and use that time to teach appropriate behavior. This could include teaching a child to politely ask for a break from the meal or conversation; keeping one’s hands and feet to oneself; or expressing interest in others by practicing with a few pre-rehearsed questions, such as “How are you?” or “How is your family?” “It’s the pre-teaching that’s essential to help your child reach success,” says Dr. Allen.
Practice: Dr. Allen says once parents create an awareness of those behaviors, they can design scenarios for children to reinforce them, such as practicing giving compliments, or staging a “practice” meal, where the child can first practice wrong table manners, followed by the correct ones. “Once the skill is taught and practiced, a good reinforcement will always help improve performance,” she says. Plan: Setting a child up for success means planning a holiday event to better meet their needs. Dr. Allen advises the following steps: 1. Give your child breaks between the courses of long dinners. 2. Place the kids’ table in a quiet space to help those with sensory sensitivities. Or, if the child dislikes certain foods, people, or objects, place him away from that particular item to avoid the trigger. 3. Create a schedule for the evening or activity to help the child understand the structure of the event.4. Create a fun game out of dinner (“Let’s count the number of times Aunt Margret says “precious!”).
Be realistic: Because the holidays can often be a disorienting time for parents and children alike, Dr. Allen says it’s unreasonable for parents to expect long periods of excellent behavior from their children, especially from those with special needs. “Try to be understanding and flexible, while providing as much structure and routine as you can,” she says. “Keeping your expectations reasonable during this time can improve your chances of a successful holiday.”
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